3. The Quadrant

 

3. The Quadrant

We start today by grounding ourselves with sunlight. When the sun is shining, it's a bit easier. But even when it's cloudy or raining, you can do this visualization exercise. You don't really need to see the sun, just thinking about it is enough to connect with it. The sun is always there.

 

You stand in the sun or consider that it is above your head, and let the light flow in through your head and neck from above your crown. Then, sunlight streams through your left arm and hand, and through your right arm and hand. You let the sun come back in through your crown and send it to your body, little by little down, to your neck and back, your throat, your chest, heart, diaphragm, abdomen, lower abdomen. From there you let the light shine through your pelvis, legs and feet and you send that light deep into the earth.

Once again, you invite the sunlight to go through the crown of your head to your spine and illuminate it all the way up to your tailbone. And from there you send that light deep into the earth. You now have 3 anchor points, your 2 feet and your tailbone. These 3 rays of light then form one large ball of light, a sun in the earth. (So above, so below)

With that, you're well grounded. You will also feel stronger, standing more confident in your shoes.

 

If you prefer to imagine yourself as a tree, your arms as branches, and from your feet and tailbone to shoot roots deep into the earth, so that you are firmly anchored, then that is of course also a good way to ground yourself, and to stand firmly with both feet on the ground.

 

Relaxing

When there is pain or emptiness, our senses close to a lesser or greater extent (we see, hear, feel, smell, taste less). In doing so, we cut ourselves off from the world around us. We then control our emotions and feelings by freezing the movements of our body. We clench our jaws, we may tense our necks and stomachs, or clench our fists and suppress our breathing.

Your emotions (showing your feelings) and feelings that are within us, but that you don't show, are released by letting go of your held tension. (Exercising, walking, or biking can solve already a lot of this tension.) Also going to the tense place(s) with your thoughts, and relaxing them consciously give good results. For example, your tongue is tight against the roof of your mouth. Go to the hyoid bone, deep in the back of your throat with the muscles around it. Drop your lower jaw and hold it for a while.

Remember that YOU are the director (and actor) of your own life. And that in doing so, you determine how you fulfill your role in your life and overall life. 

 

Are you in balance?

Please indicate in percentages what the distribution looks like for you, together 100%:

 

1. Physical          )              ... %                                                                            

2. Mental            )              ... %

                         

3. Emotional       )              ... %                                                                     

4. Spiritual         )              ... %

                                       100 %

 

There are four types of pain: The physical part, the intellectual part, the emotional part, and the intuitive, spiritual part.

 

Where is your pain located?

1. The physical pain - in your body 

Your body is your best friend. And never lies.

We often take it for granted that our body functions properly. When our bodies fail us, we often hold doctors responsible for making us better. We have to learn to take back that responsibility ourselves, by listening better to our body's signals.

Do you have a throbbing, stabbing, nagging, sharp pain? What is your body trying to tell you with this?

Just ask your body what it needs….. 

 

 

Assignment: Give each feeling a color and indicate in the figure above where these feelings are located in your body for you?

 

AFRAID

 

ANGRY

 

GRIEF

 

PAIN

 

HAPPY

 

And write down: when do you have these feelings?.........

 

Assignment:

1. Take a look at yourself (write down in your notebook)

1. How do you deal with your body's signals? .......

2. How was your body talked and thought about in your childhood?.......

3. Were you allowed to talk about it when you weren't feeling well or were tired?.......

4. Could the pain or fatigue be there at home?.......

5. How were illness and physical needs talked and thought about?.......

6. Does the way you learned to deal with your body in the past still affects the way you deal with it now?.......

 

2. The intellectual pain – in your thoughts/mind/spirit

The intellect often overshadows the emotional and intuitive parts of the quadrant. From an early age, we put almost all of our energy into developing our bodies and minds. It seems as if feelings and intuition are of a lower order. All parts of the quadrant are inextricably linked. We have to learn to use all of our tools to their full potential.

Positive, but also negative thoughts evoke a physical reaction in you, do you recognize that?

 

RET Rational-Emotive Therapy emphasizes your thoughts and beliefs: (Think with your heart and be true to yourself!)

1. Is your thought real?.......

2. Are you sure that this thought is real?.......

2a. Or are there any adjustments that need to be made?.......

3. How do you react when you have that thought?.......

4. Who or what are you without that thought?.......

5. Think about the opposite........

The moment you live in now is reality, not fantasy.

 

Take another look at your notes, which are listed under Day 2 The grieving process is a process of change, in which you have juxtaposed your positive and negative thoughts.

Have you been able to switch your thoughts to a more positive outlook on your life!?....... Or was that not necessary at all?.......

 

Then work your associated emotions out of your body (look at the drawing of you as a human being with your colored feelings. What do you want to let go of?)

1. * Knock out your emotions in a save environment, e.g. with a piece of garden hose or rope on a pillow and in the meantime shout why you have those emotions.  

2. * Kick a shoebox all over the room while you vent your frustrations.

You can also do this if you are going to play football, tennis, hockey, paddleboard, kickbox or any other sport where you can kick or hit.

3. * Chewing: Consciously chew a piece of gum, and tell yourself what's bothering you.

4. * Write on a piece of paper why you are angry, scared, sad, feeling guilty, ashamed etc. Stick this paper on the door. Turn pairs of rolled-up socks into balls and throw them against that piece of paper, while shouting why you have this feeling.

5. * Grab a pile of old newspapers, and tear them up, while telling yourself what's bothering you.

6.* Playing clay, exercising, dancing, walking, cycling; singing/shouting loudly in the car.

 

You allow your restrained, pent-up feelings to be expressed and then shoot loose.

Everything helps to get to master your emotions.

 

Assignment: Take a look at yourself (notebook)

1. How was your intellectual achievement looked at home (f.i. tests, schoolreports)?.......

2. Were you said you were stupid or smart?.......

3. Were you rewarded or punished for it?.......

4. How do you experience yourself intellectually? Does this image that you have of yourself contribute to your self-confidence?.......

 

Comments such as "Own fame stinks" or "Just act normal, then you're crazy enough" can dampen your self-confidence.

If something similar happened to you as a young person, you can still decide now to ignore such a remark. And leave it with the other person. With which you immediately boost your self-image.

  

3. The emotional pain –  in your feelings

Feelings are natural. It is our tool for dealing with situations. (Your body is your best friend!) An emotion is a way in which you express yourself.

For a long time, our society paid little attention to our feelings. Emotions are often associated with weak and powerless, feminine and childish.

There was a lot of attention for the material side of life. Slowly but surely, we see a new flow of consciousness getting into gear. More and more we realize that our feelings are important messengers. They tell you what's going on with you. The language of your feelings is the means to keep in touch with yourself.

Feelings are beautiful. They do need your attention to be felt, expressed, known and understood. They make a great contribution to our inner growth, to our health, but also to our ability to live and communicate with others. Deformed feelings arise when you suppress your natural emotional processes (had to suppress: for example: 'stand in the hallway when you're angry, and come back when it's over'. Or 'Are you going to sit down and cry? We don't do that here'. Or: 'Come on be brave, we're not afraid'! But also if you were loud and happy as a child: 'Can you calm down and be a little quiet?' or if you were sad: ‘Be a  good girl', be a good boy'). 

 

Assignment: Take a look at yourself (notebook)

1. How were your feelings in your home be viewed at in the past?.......

2. Were you allowed to express your displeasures, such as anger, fears, but also your exuberant joy?.......

3. Were things that were drastic for you discussed?.......

4. How did your parents deal with grief, anger, pain, fear, and joy?.......

5. How does that affect you nów?....... How do you deal with each of these feelings in the present?.......

6. How is the emotional balance in your life?.......

 

4. Intuitive/spiritual pain –  in your intuition

If you follow your feelings, you will come to your intuition. Your intuition is a gateway to forces that go beyond the five senses (hearing, seeing, touching, smelling, tasting). You can open this gateway by being on good terms with your feelings. Dare to listen to it and you will arrive at your premonition, also known as your gut feeling. It is an inner source, our connection to the cosmos, that tells us something about imminent situations or things that will happen, without being confirmed by your five senses. Carrying unresolved issues or not facing certain emotions and feelings can get in the way of your intuitive development.

In people who are not fully developed intellectually or physically, the intuitive or emotional part of the quadrant is often more highly developed. It is a natural law that an underdeveloped part of the quadrant is filled by another part. 

 

Assignment: Take a look at yourself (Notebook)

1. How did your folks think and talk about intuition, your hunch in the past?.......

2. Was it allowed to be there?....... Or was it suppressed?....... (There are people who are clairvoyant, claircognizant, or clairsentient.).......

3. How do you dealing at this moment with your intuition?....... Do you trust your hunch or do you ignore it?.......

4. Are there any experiences of which you say: They have to do with my intuition, my hunch?.......

 

For later, at another time: Stimulate movement of your body. Treat yourself and be happy. Go for a walk, cycle, exercise, get a massage, take an online yoga class. Look up a relaxation meditation on the internet, and allow yourself this exercise. Bring 'playing' back into your life, go swinging.

Listening to quiet music can also bring you back to 'yourself'.

 

During a period of mourning, you may also enjoy everything that life has to offer you. In fact, it helps you to shorten your mourning period.  

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